Chapters in the book of life . .

October 2013

The third day of blogging, and looking back I saw that I had made a mistake on day one and on day two.     I thought I had proofed . . but I goofed.  Once published on Blogpost I could not change those words.  But now in another life on WordPress  I can make those corrections.

I’m often making mistakes when on the move, and sometimes, with luck, catching them later, probably after a sleep.  And then there’s the decision of whether to backtrack and explain my mistake.  Sometimes a lifesaver, sometimes better left alone.

In recent years my mind has been been reviewing the things I had written with my life.  Now I see the good things, but I also see mistakes I made, with my words and with my actions through the years.  My mind takes me to the scene where, in pure exasperation, I struck a child, to another scene where I helped a child when he would have learned more by fending for himself, to another scene where I withheld necessities because I didn’t have them as a child.  How clear the alternatives seem now.  But I can’t live in retrospect.  I can’t color over those mistakes . .but I can thank them for their teaching.

When we see elderly people sitting in the sunroom, smiling at nothing, are they reviewing their lives?  I like to call it regrouping, and it starts long before that.  I find myself regrouping as I wash the dishes, sitting on a plane or while I wait in a reception room.  I’m seeing the good but seeing clearly now the things I would change if I could do it over again.  This often happens on nights when I can’t sleep . . and perhaps that’s why I can’t sleep.  But I don’t whine.  I’m thankful for the honest version of my movie.

If you are on the same page with me, you will not find such discussions boring or offensive.  In my blog there will be a lot of happy happy.  And there will be a lot of thoughtful thoughtful  Sometimes they intertwine.

Tomorrow I will tell you why I write bad poetry that some people think is good poetry.

–  D. M.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sara Markland
    Oct 30, 2013 @ 17:23:39

    Erik Erikson (1902-1994) developed the benchmark still used today, which describes our personality changes as we develop psychologically through life. His theory describes the impact of social experience across our whole lifespan. According to Erikson’s Developmental Stages, the final stage is Integrity vs Despair. As we grow older and become Senior citizens, we tend to slow dow, regroup and revisit our lives, and decide how we did. Were we successful? Did we achieve our goals? Do we have a feeling of positive accomplishment? Do we feel unproductive, have guilt about our pasts, become dissatisfied with our lives, develop despair? And, this is how you subconsciously make those decisions; washing dishes, staring into space, watching that wonderful mental movie of your life, thinking it all through, hopefully with a smile. I can see how you feel by reading your positive uplifting blogs.
    Ooops…… your blog, not mine! But just a little factual insite from your favorite nurse. 🌺

    Reply

  2. Marilee Thorburn
    Nov 16, 2013 @ 21:00:54

    Doris, I love it.Since we are nearly the same age (you 6mos older than me) your reminecicences (sp) really speak to me. Good job.

    Marilee

    Reply

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