Words

I love words. Especially things you can do with words.  Like puns.  I toss a lot of my morning mail, but when someone sends me a list of puns it makes my day.  I feel like the guy who rushes to the TV to find that his team won last night, or the person who checks the stock market and finds his arrows pointing up.

A list of puns was in my box today.  I do not know the source but apparently it is public and meant to share.   If it’s been around before, you will have forgotten and will chuckle again.

PUNOGRAPHY

I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I never met herbivore.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O

This dyslexic  man walks into a bra.

I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it’s hungry.  It goes back for seconds.

I wondered by the ball was getting bigger.  Then it hit me.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.  Police say they have nothing to go on.

I took the job at the bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro.  What a rip off.

Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.

*********************

Have a good day!

NOTE:  For some reason there is a huge gap here in my blog, but keep scrolling down and you will come to my earlier posts and my initial introduction.  Thank you.

 

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