Words . . words . . words . . again . . .

You all know I love words and what words can convey, either in thoughtful . . or in laughable . . contexts.  Here are some more puns sent to me by Donna Thomas . . because she knows I love words.  We may have all seen this list before, but what the heck.  We will read them again as if we’ve never seen them before.  And we will smile.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted -Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Vicki Heelan
    Feb 25, 2016 @ 21:27:58

    I love words and puns.. Once sent ten puns to a friend to see if she would be amused…but no pun in ten did.

    Another friend told me he liked the way some words sounded when he voiced them…his favorite was “probably absorbable”

    Reply

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