You may not remember a person’s full name, as in Dr. John Edward Dohicky II, but you’d do well to at least refer to him and remember him as John. Still, it is probably true that you know many people named John, so there must be a key to place this man in your mind. Then when someone asks just what John you are talking about, you can say, “You know…the one who still does a low whistle when a pretty girl walks by, or the John who takes up collection at church, or the John who is always smiling even when he is talking.
So what about Mary? It’s a really old name yet still given to baby girls, coupled with another name, so that she becomes Mary Sue, Mary Ellen, Mary Ann or Mary Monica, That should make it easier to remember her name, yet I know so many Mary Sues and Mary Anns. So if I meet them unexpectedly I may have to quickly sort through all the names that fit the face. But there are other clues and other ways I may refer to this Mary.
If I should bring up her name at coffee and a friend asks me what Mary I am talking about, I am likely to say something like “Oh, you know. The Mary who is always talking about her dog, or the Mary who has a braid in the middle of her ponytail. “Oh, that one,” they will say.
One must wonder how others identify them in this way. I would not be surprised if I’m referred to as the woman who talks too much or the woman who is always daydreaming and then asking people what they just said.
A name can be a burden or a blessing depending on the contribution we make to it. Years ago I took a course meant to teach us a lot about our true natures and our purpose in life. The teacher asked me if I were living up to my name and I puzzled all day yet was unable to see how one could live up to the name Doris. It was much later that I took a look at my second name, Markland, and began to wonder if I was leaving a mark on the land.
Now you know why I named my blog mymarkland.com. And why my name is on the front of two books.
Something funny happened yesterday. I received a message from Netflix that read, “Doris, Grace and Frankie is returning for another season.” I puzzled and puzzled but couldn’t remember any TV show with the name Doris in it. All right, laugh if you must, and remember me as the Doris who misses the obvious.
I wonder if it might be a good exercise to start a list, a list of phrases people might use to identify me. My second goal may be to revise the list as I’m able to remove things like the Doris who interrupts others when they are talking, the Doris who is always clearing her throat, or the Doris who can’t seem to remember a darn thing.
Problem is I won’t remember where I put the list.
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